The struggle is real losing weight is hard, but I think it’s in the maitenance and keeping it off is harder. When I decided to lose weight, I made the decision and never looked back, I had tunnel vision all I saw was the end result but I didn’t take time to enjoy the process or the journey and realize exactly how much work it took. When you lose weight, you think everything is going miraculously change and that everyone will notice you or accept the person you have become but just as it takes time for others to accept the new you. I think it’s hardest on the person themselves, at least it was that way for me. I have people who have come up to me, or found me on the internet or met me in person and asked me how I did and they are astonished when they find out I did it through diet and exercise and clean eating, without any intervention. I think the biggest thing I’ve learned in the process is that weight loss truly is a” mental challenge, not a physical one”, because the body won’t go where the mind doesn’t push it and I think for me the mental mindset and my determination to change and not look back was the key to my success. One thing, that has never changed about me is when I am determined to do something, I find a way to get it done and for me weight loss was no different. However, now since it’s been a year since, I’ve not only been able to maintain my weight but lose more, I realize how much I truly accomplished. I would be shocked when people would come up to me or comment on my before and after pictures and tell me, I’m an inspiration and it’s like I didn’t see what the big deal was because I lost the weight because I didn’t recognize the person looking back at me in the mirror and it wasn’t who I wanted to be. However, now being in a place of peace, happiness and contentment knowing that I recognize the person looking back at me in the mirror and that the inside matches the outside, I truly feel complete and the best I have ever felt. I think being able to push myself, my limits and not be afraid has made me a stronger and more confident person, who can truly see all that I’ve accomplished. In reality, I lost a person, I am half the person I once was and yes that is a big deal, and that’s finally start to resonate with me and I am starting to see myself the way others see me. Of course, there are days, where my inner “fat girl” comes out to play to remind me of what I once was or that my body is still not 100% perfect but I am proud of the body of have and how strong it’s become and all the things I able to do now that I never thought possible. Sometimes, I want to forget that, that “fat girl” ever existed but I can’t because she made me who I am today and I wouldn’t have the life I have or met some of the most wonderful people in my life without her.
It’s an everyday process, I have to work hard at not only loving myself and my body but realizing I can’t always eat what I want and have to keep up my diet and exercise if I want to maintain what I worked so hard for. I used to eat for comfort and now I go to the gym, or go for a run. I love working out now, and can’t imagine not doing it. I love challenging myself, trying new things, pushing my limits, conquering my fears. Working out, building muscle, makes me feel strong, empowered and beautiful.
My view on food has changed as well, I’ve adopted a clean eating regime, found healthy food swaps for some of my favorite treats and treat food as fuel and not as a reward or attached to any emotion. It’s taken me over a year, to see myself as others have seen me, but now I am the happiest I’ve been in mind, body and spirit and looking forward to growing and changing more in the future and am optimistic about what the future holds and all their is to come. I hope I can continue to inspire people and help them along on their journey.