The title of the post might be of a misnomer as you read on but it felt like the best way to explain my journey. This has been a year of highs and lows as almost any year has but many of those moments were centered on my weight or numbers. I looked at food through macros, and BMI, RMR, and body fat for some form of stability, validation and as a form of success. I realize now, that I am a success I’ve kept it off and determined to keep it off because I can never go back to the person I was before because that wasn’t me. I always thought I had to change the outside to match the inside and even though now I have and it does, I realize that the mind and getting your head in the right mindset is the most important muscle you can use and it can make you or break you. I was so determined to rid myself of that former fat girl, and forget she ever existed but she helped me get to where I am and I would have met some of the amazing people and things I’ve done in the past year without her existence. Yes, that fat girl was me and I am glad that outer shell is gone, but I still have her strength, determination, grit, and mental toughness because when she’s determined to do something nothing will stand in her way. That is ME! that will always be me, it just took a longer for her to come out. Now I can truly say I love myself and where I am and everything I’ve become because I am the person I knew I always was inside and the person I always wanted to be. I feel strong, beautiful, confident and know now more than ever I can accomplish anything I put my mind to. It took a lot longer for my mind to catch up with my body but I think no matter where one is on their weight loss journey it isn’t matter of fixing the outside, you have to fix the inside first because it’s the core and foundation of where weight loss happens if your mind and heart aren’t in the right place, losing the weight won’t get you anywhere and it took me a year and a half to realize that. There are days when it’s still a struggle, of choosing what I want in the moment versus what I want most but I realized to have the body I want and worked for I have to sacrifice my favorite foods and work twice as hard to keep it off. I don’t believe in flexible dieting because if I eat junk or have a cheat meal it derails me and just doesn’t taste good. Instead I try to find healthier versions and substitutions of my favorite foods and have begun tracking macros, because I have new goals I have set for myself. I just hope in some way I can pay it forward and be an inspiration or help to someone like so many others are or have been for me.